Sunday, February 7, 2010
Loneliness
These days I am finding that I am really lonely. I can be in a room surrounded by people and still feel alone. I have friends and I try to keep in touch with them. However it seems they are always busy with their other friends or their families. I do not hold this against them. I get wrapped up in the things going on in my life as well and am not always the best friend I could be. I guess what I am getting at is that at this point in my life I thought I would be a lot happier than I am. I have no job, I am a single parent and I live with my parents. (who are not always easy to get along with nor am I) I keep trying to remember that God has a plan for my life but at times like these when I feel all alone it is so hard to remember that. I am supposed to be taking my son to see his dad who he has not seen in about 4 years and all of a sudden I have no desire to go. I know Ethan needs to have a relationship with his dad but I really do not want to put any effort into it. Am I self consciously bringing this loneliness on myself?
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I know it's crappy to feel this way. Yes, God does have a plan for your life, but you can't sit and watch the world go by. You need to seek God's will and then go through it. You know that being in the center of His will is going to be tough sometimes. But those trials increase our faith and our trust in Him. Don't let how you feel interfere with what Ethan deserves. The enemy wants you to feel as if the effort is not worth it. Don't believe his lies for one second. Hang in there, follow God and trust that His plan is the best plan. I love you.
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